


An Angel, a Demon, and a Baby

by CalmIsOverrated



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale and Crowley are Adam Young's Parents (Good Omens), Gen, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, brief mention of beelzebub hastur and ligur, brief mention of the chattering order, crowley stole the antichrist, stealing a baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 10:24:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20704427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalmIsOverrated/pseuds/CalmIsOverrated
Summary: I imagine you, the reader, are wondering to yourself how the story of celestial beings taking in the antichrist, destroyer of wolds, bringer of the apocalypse, son of Lucifer himself, and raising the child as their own began. If so, read on.





	An Angel, a Demon, and a Baby

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't have enough brain-cells to edit this, I'm just diving right in and posting it
> 
> I almost published this story as An angle, a demon, and a baby.

It was a rather beautiful autumn, the trees were slowly trading in their green foliage for the warm colors of the changing seasons. It also happened to be a few years before the antichrist was to be born, and a decade or so before the world would end. And that is what led the two higher beings, a demon and an angel, diametrically opposed, foes (though that hardly qualified for _ them _ at this point), to where they were now. Sitting on a park bench. Watching the graceful waterfowl swim around in the pond in front of them.

Every celestial entity on the Earth and not, could feel something was beginning to stir… The minions of Hell had their ears to the ground, waiting for their signal. Angels in Heaven were starting to draw up plans for the end all war. The ducks seemed to be able to sense the tension in the air between the two men and seemed to be staying far away. There were plenty of other visitors who could throw them food.

“Trouble is stirring in Hell.” The taller of the two was sprawled out over the bench like some sort of gothic blanket. His name was Crowley, he was a demon.

“When is it not, my dear?” The Angel, Aziraphale, questioned the man sitting beside him. He was sitting straight up, the opposite of his rather boneless companion. He was wearing clothes that went out of style a few decades ago. He gave off vibes of a retired history professor or librarian. His eyes were older than any human had a right to be, perhaps because he wasn't.

Crowley scowled back, he raised an eyebrow from behind his tinted glasses. “More so than usual. Rumors are starting up. It’s going to begin soon, you know. The end times,” Crowley didn't seem all that happy about it.

Aziraphale give the demon a quick look before throwing away the rest of his birdseed into the pond and brushing his hands off on his pants. “As it is in Heaven, the angels are already already talking of war, dusting off the old armor and whatnot.”

“Hell is getting rather restless. A plan is starting to form."

“Do you know the details?” Aziraphale wasn’t entirely sure why he was asking. He really was reluctant for the Apocalypse to actually start. He knew the only way he’d fight again was if Heaven dragged him there by his wings, he felt uncomfortable in knowing they would.

Crowley scoffed and sunk further onto the bench. “Only the higher ups. They don’t trust me, been on Earth too long. _ Gone native _,” he says mockingly. “All I know is that the antichrist will be put on Earth as a young child, grow to see how corrupted humans are. And you know the rest.”

“Hm…” The angel sat back on the bench and tapped his chin with his fingers in thought. Now Crowley and Aziraphale had been in each others company for six-thousand years, they tended to understand what the other is thinking without them actually saying it.

“You look like you're planning something angel, what is it you're thinking?”

“Oh, well, it may not be the best idea. It just popped into my mind. There would be so many flaws…”

“Spit it out already.”

“What if we, uhm, were to take the child and raise it?”

“...”

“...”

“Excuse me? Which raise are we talking about here, the one with the ‘s’ or ‘z’?” Crowley asked, despite knowing very well which one the angel was saying.

“I knew it was silly,” Aziraphale looked away, his cheeks were tinged pink from the embarrassment of mentioning such a plan. The two of them, a demon and an angel, raising the antichrist? If they didn't accidentally kill it within the first week it, and who's to say it would even work? It would definitely grow up to be a very odd child.

Crowley sat back and watched the ducks swim, he didn't say anything more but looked thoughtful. The seed of an idea had been planted. Whether or not it would sprout would depend. “I doubt Hell would assign a demon to keep an eye on it while I’m here on Earth,” it wouldn’t be impossible is what he didn’t say, although it was implied. “But what would this… arrangement possibly accomplish?”

“Maybe we could prevent the war by making sure the child is neither good nor evil. And making sure it doesn’t end the world.”

“It wouldn't work angel,” Crowley’s voice softened for a moment. “The Apocalypse is ineffable.”

Aziraphale nodded. “Our sides would probably catch wind of our plan anyhow. It would take more than a few miracles to stay under the radar.”

Silence enveloped the two. Outside of their bubble the ducks quacked and begged for bread and seeds from random pedestrians as they walked by. The world continued to spin and the clock continued to tick around them. They both had known from the beginning that the world was doomed to end in a final showdown, but it felt too soon. It'd only been six-thousand years and in the life of an immortal, celestial being it felt like no more than a few months.

“I'll let you know when things start picking up.” The demon adjusted his sunglasses.

“Of course, my dear boy,” Aziraphale sighed. “And the same for you. But how can we justify this?”

“If I'm there you must follow. To make sure I do nothing unsavory.”

“Of course. And where I’m creating peace you must come along with your mischief.”

“ ‘Mischief’? I'll have you know that the reason _ I _ am a _ very _ well known demon in Hell is for causing more than just _ mischief _.”

“Obviously,” Aziraphale corrected, ”Can't forget that part.” He looked far from convinced, that was for sure. Crowley scowled at the unimpressed look.

The demon and angel then parted ways. Both were trying to mentally prepare for the hardships to come.

* * *

It was happening tonight. It had been a full five years since that day at the pond. Aziraphale and Crowley had had little to no contact since then. Their sides, Heaven and Hell respectively, had become very attentive to what they were doing as the time approached. Keeping an annoyingly hindering eye on their assets.

That night Crowley had been watching TV at his apartment when the screen changed to a live video from Hell. Beelzebub gave the red haired demon a location to meet with Hastur and Ligur at, and he would receive further instructions from there. And now a frantic Crowley was attempting to call Aziraphale while pulled over on the side of the road with a wailing baby in the back.

He threw his phone down on the passenger's seat as it went to voicemail, the one that Crowley had helped Aziraphale set up. _ Damned angel_, he thought, _ he’s probably somewhere eating sushi with his phone on silent. _ Crowley sat back with a sigh.

He was going to have to do this himself, it seemed. The demon cracked his knuckles on the steering wheel and turned on the radio. The sound of Queen’s followed him as he _ definitely _ went past the speed limit and he made his way to the satanic church that housed the Chattering Order.

Making sure the child was never delivered was startlingly easy. It might’ve been harder if the Satanic nuns running the entire operation were actually competent. Thank whoever they weren’t. It was easy for Crowley to get inside and alter their memories, make them _ think _ that they had swapped the babies successfully and send them off to go celebrate with tea and biscuits in the back, none the wiser.

But now, _ now _ , Crowley had a baby- the bloody _ antichrist _ \- sleeping peacefully in the back of his Bentley and an angel who _ still _ would _ not _ pick up his phone! He couldn’t take the child back to his own apartment, just in case the demons surprised him and tried to follow up on how his mission had gone. If they saw him like that it would accomplish nothing. He drove towards Aziraphale’s bookshop.

When he arrived outside it was some ungodly hour of the early morning, so no one was out and about at that time but Crowley still summoned a blanket to cover the basket that held the baby. He made his way carefully, not wanting to jostle his cargo. He pounded on the door until a baffled looking Aziraphale opened it.

“My dear, I-” The angel noticed the basket in Crowley’s other hand. “Oh my- Crowley, is that-”

“Can we continue this inside angel?” Aziraphale looked at the demon’s expression. He was on the most on edge the angel had ever seen him. Crowley seemed jumped at every little sound and kept glancing behind him at the darkened street as if expecting something to come after him. The demon looked absolutely paranoid and _ worried _. It wasn't an expression Aziraphale liked to see on his… friend.

The angel stepped back and opened the door further. “Of course. Come in my dear. I’ll make us some tea,” at Crowley’s annoyed look the other rolled his eyes. “I believe we’ll need to be sober for this discussion.” He didn’t protest any more and came inside as quickly as possible while Aziraphale disappeared into the kitchen.

He sat down in his spot, placing the basket down on the ground and removing the blanket. He chanced a glance inside. _ Huh _, Crowley thought. He looks like a regular human infant. The demon didn’t know what he was expecting. Horns, maybe? Hooves, a classically- but inaccurate- pointed tail? Goodness he hoped not. Crowley looked over the sleeping child for anything not exactly human but couldn’t find a thing. The antichrist continued sleeping peacefully throughout it all.

What were they going to do now? He sighed and sat back in his seat, the demon dragged his hand down his face. He very much feared he had been too hasty in taking the child, despite the discussion earlier about taking the child when it arrived. Even if they wanted to return the child it was too late and it was in better hands with them, however disastrous that option was. A hand touched his shoulder, startling Crowley so much he nearly jumped out of his skin. The offending touch recoiled away. “I’m sorry my dear. I didn’t mean to startle you but I’ve been calling for you.” Aziraphale did look sorry, and the demon felt a bit embarrassed to have reacted so harshly. But he couldn’t help it, his nerves were shot.

“It’s fine.” He accepted the offered tea with a nod and Aziraphale sat down beside him. The angel did a quick inspection of the infant like Crowley had, before sitting back.

“What do we do now?” Crowley asked taking a drink of tea. The both of them sitting on the couch, discussing the end of the world felt like a mockery of that day years ago. Except now they actually had the child instead of just talking about it.

“Does Hell know?”

“Angel, if Hell knew what I’ve just done I would be a puddle of… Holy water and melted demon on the floor right now.” He blanched a bit and took another big drink of tea, it would’ve burned his tongue were he human. There was no trial for this sort of treachery, nowhere further to fall or hide. “That’s a no, angel. Not a clue.”

“We’ll have to keep it that way,” Aziraphale said. He hadn’t taken a drink of his own cup, too busy watching the demon’s expression. The lines on his face were hard, the usual care-free demeanor was gone and the angel was the only one there to witness the emotions behind the many, many walls Crowley had up.

“We'll get through this my dear,” he reached over and placed his hand on Crowley's arm as a comforting gesture. They were in this together now. “He can stay here at the shop until we figure out what to do. Hell might try to follow up with you.”

“Unlikely they'll do that in person,” Crowley waved it off. Demons liked to handle all their work from Hell, weren't as fond of the scenery as Crowley was. “Beelzebub will probably just call in or have me go to them. How are you going to watch the antichrist and run the bookshop? I'll stick around.”

Aziraphale nodded, he went to respond but the child at their feet started to wake, peaking open a pair of grey-blue eyes looking up to the angel above him. “Hello, my dear,” he said softly to the infant, he didn’t have a name as far as he knew. Crowley hadn’t mentioned one.

The child made a small noise of discomfort and started kicking at the basket and pouting. “Oh!” Aziraphale leaned down to the child and carefully scooped the newborn up out of the basket as he fussed. Crowley covered his ears and stood a bit nervously as the crescendoing wails grew louder. “Oh, my poor dear. Crowley, I think he’s hungry. What do babies eat?”

“Formula, angel. I didn’t get a chance to pick any up at the store, but-” He snapped his fingers and a ready made infant bottle appeared in his hand. “That’s where being a demon comes in handy.” He gave it to Aziraphale who had the antichrist cradled in his arms. He was positively howling by this point, pushing the bottle away with his tiny, chubby fists. The angel, for all his holiness and goodness had never cared for a child.

“Hush, hush, child,” Aziraphale tried to calm him down enough to take the bottle.

Crowley was scowling at them both from where he was pacing. “Can't you make that thing quiet?”

“He's not a ‘thing’, my dear, he's a child! Just give me a minute, I'll have him sleeping soundly soon.”

Crowley looked between the screaming child and panicked angel. He rolled his eyes and gently took the infant from the angel’s arms, despite the protests from both of them. He hushed the child and bounced him gently. After a couple moments, to Aziraphale’s astonishment the baby began settling down in the demon’s arms.

“Perhaps he'll take a bottle now…” Aziraphale mused and brought the tiny newborn bottle close to the infant's mouth. He latched on quick and began working on draining it.

Aziraphale had begun to tire of mentally calling the child ‘infant’. “He needs a name,” the angel whispered to Crowley as he was putting the antichrist into the crib they'd miracled out of nowhere. He didn’t wake and continued sleeping soundly. He’d keep the shop closed tomorrow while they figured things out.

Crowley watched the child sleep, he looked rather innocent for one that was meant to bring about the end of the world. “How about… Adam?”

Aziraphale blinked. “Seriously, my dear?”

Crowley shrugged. “Well, why not?”

Aziraphale opened his mouth to tell Crowley exactly _ why not _. But he stopped when he saw the demon’s expression. Crowley was watching the young antichrist almost fondly. The corners of his lips which were usually in a constant state of turned-down-disapproval were quirked upwards. The demon had always had a way with children from the very beginning, he seemed a little lighter around them.

“Adam is a nice name,” he relented. It was true. It seemed to fit the child. With a name in place, they’d have to make his existence legal. Aziraphale was already thinking of all the papers he’d have to miracle up for him. He’d have to be careful so he didn’t garner any unwanted attention from either of their sides.

Crowley turned to look at the angel, a bit surprised, then skeptical. The angel beamed at the shocked demon who gave him a crooked grin in return. Aziraphale knew the three of them- because yes, _ Adam _ was one of them now- would have many struggles ahead, they should enjoy this current moment. As of now they had the antichrist in their hands and neither of their sides were any the wiser. Things were going according to their plan for now.

Oh a whim, perhaps fueled by the adrenaline of the night, Aziraphale reached over for the demon’s hand. Crowley looked at it for a moment before taking the offered hand and intertwining their fingers. They both silently watched over their new charge that night, no talk was needed. Later they will discuss, the two now rouge celestials will have to. It’s not the first time they’ve defied the rules, but it’s debatably one of the biggest stunts they’ve pulled off. And if Heaven or Hell figured out… Well, it wouldn’t be pretty.

It will take some luck- a lot of it, obviously, and as they said once before, more than a few miracles to pull off. They had no choice but to succeed. The future of the human race, as well as each other depended on it. There were still battles to be fought and things to plan, but for tonight neither Hell nor Heaven would disturb them.

**Author's Note:**

> Let's say Crowley and Aziraphale decided that the city would be a bad influence on Adam and moved everything out of the city and into the smaller town of Tadfield. It also helped shake off some of their celestial stalkers. Of course there might be a few close calls. And what if, Adam, with the help of his (canon) friends, averted the Apocalypse and made Aziraphale and Crowley his actual parents (none of them are really sure how that worked but hey, it did). In a fashion like the show.
> 
> I don't have any active plans to continue this. But hey, I might get bored one day.  
Ten bucks if you can find my very,very slight Hamilton reference. If you do, comment or tell me on Tumblr at Calm-is-overrated Or you can yell at me on there or something.


End file.
